Friday, 22 January 2016

18 weeks pregnant tomorrow.

Well, it's been a long time, but things turned out well for us.  I will be 18 weeks pregnant tomorrow after a natural frozen IVF cycle.  Here's how it all went down...

  • We got one embryo transferred on October 8th, 2015.  I was given a lab req. for my beta-HCG for October 19th and 21st.
  • I avoided the internet for the 2ww.  
  • I kept myself as busy as possible. 
  • I tried to forget that I had one dollar store pregnancy test left from the last cycle.
  • I started falling asleep really early every evening
  • My boobs started hurting
  • I tried to put my tiredness and boobs at the back of my mind but Lance was getting suspicious!
  • October 18th came and I could no longer forget that I had that test sitting there in the bathroom...
Lance and I were making breakfast and I had to go to the bathroom, so I excused myself.  I'd already managed to get rid of my "first morning pee", but I just couldn't help myself.  I grabbed that test out and pee'd!  

Then I waited.

Nothing happened.  

I tried to hide my emotions as I hid the test deep at the back of the cupboard and came back out to the kitchen, shaking.  

I was so upset.  Why did I take the test?  Why didn't I just wait until the next day when I could go to the lab and at least Lance would be able to support me then, but I'm going to have to live with this horrible secret all day. 

Then I thought "What if I just didn't wait long enough?"  Three minutes is a long time, especially when you're trying to be secretive.  I ran back to the bathroom, ripped the cupboard apart to find the test and to my surprise, it showed two lines.  

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!  No way!  

I ran out to the kitchen and blabbed to a very surprised Lance "I'm pregnant".  

And that's pretty much how the rest of that day went.  It seems like forever ago already.  

I had the lab test the next morning which confirmed that I was indeed pregnant, and the follow up two days later confirmed that the Beta-HCG levels were indeed doubling, and thus starts this new transition from "trying" to "achieving".  

Stay tuned! :D

Saturday, 3 October 2015

The Big "O"

Get your mind out of the gutter!

I ovulated today.

And yes, that is a dollar store Ovulation Predictor test.

Last month we spent $50 on a digital kit, and it was garbage.  We use this cassette type test in the ER (to check for pregnancy, not ovulation!  Lol), so I thought "Why not?"

I've made my phonecall to Genesis... Now to hear back on what happens next!

Stay tuned!

Friday, 18 September 2015

Are you there God? It's me, Margaret...

And by Margaret, I mean Marie.

Soooooooooooooo... I'm a married woman now!  We got married on June 20th in Hope, BC.  The weather was beautiful, the ceremony was (aside from my Dad stepping on my dress...Lol) lovely and the reception was so much fun!!! 

As soon as the wedding was officially over, we contacted Genesis to look into starting a new cycle.  I was rushed in within a few weeks to have a consultation and yet another hysteroscopy.  The hysteroscopy went well and we were told that we could do a natural cycle.  Woohoo!!!  The nurse was going to bring us all the paperwork and then we were free to go.  Well, she brought us the labwork requisitions we needed to update, and a piece of paper with the cycle directions on it.  We went home and waited for day one of my cycle.  

Day one came.  I called the clinic and booked my ultrasound.  I was told that I needed to pay that day.  Well, I don't know how much to pay or what I'm even paying for.  Turns out the nurse hadn't given me that information.  I'm not paying until I know exactly what my cycle includes!  They agreed to let me pay when I came for my ultrasound.  

Day 10 came.  I went in for my ultrasound (after paying the $1500 fee and finding out that only 3 ultrasounds are covered in that fee...Wtf!), the Dr seemed to have no clue what she was doing and was concerned about a shadow that she saw on the ultrasound.  I reminded her that I had just had a hysteroscopy and that everything looked good.  The nurse confirmed that it was less than two weeks ago and she said "Oh, if I wasn't concerned then, I shouldn't be concerned now".  How comforting...  The nurse told me that I could start using the ovulation testing kit now.  I went home, feeling a bit miffed and not very confident in this cycle.  I mean, It's not really starting out well, is it!  

Day 19 came.  I have spent the last 9 mornings getting up at ridiculous o'clock to check for ovulation.  We had bought the most expensive kit we could find.  Clearblue Easy Digital.  Well, let me tell you something...There's nothing easy about trying to pee the right amount onto a stick that you can't easily see because you're too busy peeing!  I think it was day three, I hadn't gotten that exciting little smiley face yet (yes, it smiles when you ovulate), and I either didn't pee enough OR I pee'd too much, so my stick gave me an error. How annoying!  There's money down the drain, quite literally!  I woke up the next morning, and scrambled to find something to pee in so that I could control the test a little better...Uh oh... I should have thought of this before I had sat on the toilet...What am I gonna grab, oh...There's a candle jar with a tealight candle...Looks good to me.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I pee'd in a bloody candleholder.  

I dipped my stick for the required time.  I didn't get an error.  I didn't ovulate.

The candleholder was my new pee-cup. 

I tested every day, certain that I'd see a smile soon.  Nothing.

I became sullied. 

I caved and googled about ovulation.  So apparently stress doesn't make your period late, it changes how you ovulate, which in turn messes up your period!  Well...I think the uncertainty of this cycle, coupled with the fact that I'm being audited by the government for my 2014 medical expenses from IVF (because it's not covered in BC as it's elective, but if I wanted a sex change, that's covered...PFFT!), and I'm getting called for jury selection and a myriad of other irritating "life events" ... Well, that's possibly why I didn't ovulate!  

I called the clinic and told them that I was out of sticks and asked what the next step is.  The nurse that I spoke with told me that I needed to come in for another ultrasound to confirm my lack of ovulation.  Hell no!  I'm not about to waste my second included ultrasound on an obvious negative result!!!  I also told her that I'm busy with jury selection that day and would have to call back to book an appointment/phone consult on Tuesday.   She told me to continue OPK testing daily until I called back.  Like heck I was spending another $50 on a kit.  I went to the Dollarama and bought the cheapo ones there.  $1.25...Heck yes!  After all, they're no different than the pregnancy tests we use in the ER!  

Right on the box, in plain view... "The best time to test is between 10am - 8pm.  Don't use first morning urine as ovulation occurs later in the day and the test won't recognize it".  What????????  I re-read the instructions from the expensive test "Test any time of the day, but don't pee for at least 4 hours prior".  There was nothing in the gigantic two page poster that came with the Clearblue Easy tests that I should test at certain times, and seriously, who can go 4 hours without peeing during the day?  Ugh!   More confusion!  

Tuesday, I called and talked to someone else.  Someone that I haven't talked to yet.  She was knowledgeable and empathetic, she apologized for the lack of communication I'd experienced.  Finally... Someone that cares, someone that actually knows something.  I explained to her that I think I was testing too early and she said that I should have been told to test between 11am - 1pm. GREAT!  Just what I wanted to hear after literally pissing $50 away!  Not to mention the entire month!  I pissed away a month!  *cry*

So here I sit... Anxiously awaiting day one, yet again... I'll need to have another confirmation ultrasound on day 10, then start the OPK tests, again.... Hopefully this time the clinic gets their shit together and gives me all the information I need.  What a horrible, frustrating, irritating cycle this has been so far.  

I need a vacation!

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Emotional Rollercoaster #2

Up and down we go.

I started spotting on Tuesday, it got worse on Wednesday to the point where I was depressed and worried, now it's back to how it was on Tuesday.  Implantation bleeding?  Who frigging knows.  I'm trying to keep calm and relaxed, but it's always there in the back of my mind.  The constant worry of not knowing anything until Monday.  Tomorrow I will pee on a stick!  I might even do it tonight because I have 3 tests just sitting around, also, I'm impatient!

Monday is our official beta test date, and I really hope that I get some high numbers so that I can stop worrying about this, and start worrying about the 12 week wait!

Whoever said pregnancy was easy was an idiot!

This will be me in a few hours!

Saturday, 14 June 2014

Of All The Days...

So yesterday was transfer day.
It was Friday the 13th.
It was a full moon.
It was also Mercury Retrograde.

The full moon is considered a "Honey Moon" as it happened on a Friday 13th.  That next time anyone will see that will be in 2049.  That's pretty cool.

I can't say that I wasn't intimidated by the thought of transferring two of our remaining four embryos with such notoriously ominous signs, but that was the date that we were given, and there's not much that we can do other than to throw our superstitions aside and just hope for the best.

Lance and I headed down to Vancouver around 9am.  We were gonna head to Denny's for some breakfast before the transfer.  Unfortunately someone's Friday 13th wasn't going so well and we encountered a huge accident on Hwy1 that resulted in a long detour through town.  By the time we arrived in Vancouver, we only had 40 minutes before our appointment so we decided that it would be best to eat after.  Hopefully the half a bagel that we'd each had before we left would tide us over.  Lol.

I started getting nervous as we were sitting in the waiting room.  What if the embryos didn't survive the thaw?  What if something goes wrong and they can't do the transfer?  Millions of questions and concerns invaded my thoughts.  Lance told me to quit worrying and that everything would be fine.  And he was right.

The nurse greeted us as we entered the procedure room. Dr. Kashyap followed shortly behind, with her kind, calming personality.  The embryologist came in the room and introduced himself as "our babysitter".  It's a nice atmosphere, if you don't think about the fact that I have my legs up in the air with a speculum in my hoohaa displayed for all the world to see.

The embryologist returned back to the lab and we watched on the big screen as he captured the two embryos into a catheter and brought them out for the Dr.  Then the magic happened.  We witnessed the "Shooting star" again as the embryos were pushed out of the catheter and into what I really hope will be their home for the next 9 months.

Our two embryos.  Six days old and ready to meet their new home.

A comparison with the first embryo at day 5.

Now all there is to do is sit and wait it out.  We can officially test on June 23rd.  I'm sure I won't make it that long without doing a home pregnancy test, but we'll see.  I'm trying my hardest (and failing) to not google too much about this cycle.  I've tried comparing my embryos to other day 6 embryos, but they're all so different.  We have a 4AA and a 4BB, at least that's what they were frozen as.  I don't know if they'd be a 5 or 6 AA/BB by this point, or if they're still considered a 4... Way too much to learn...But I digress...

We transferred two embryos on a Friday the 13th with a full moon, and Mercury being all retrograde and stuff... The more "fingers crossed" we get, the better.  

I will update very soon, I'm sure!

Thursday, 12 June 2014

Transfer Day Tomorrow

I just got the phone call from the embryologist and they're all set to do the transfer at noon tomorrow.  Lance has taken the day off of work and we'll head out to Vancouver in the morning.  I might make him take me out for a good breakfast first.  ;)

I asked about the thawing of the embryos and he said that they do it first thing in the morning.  It takes about 45 minutes, then they let them sit until noon to heal and grow a little bit more.  We'll get a picture of the embryos, then I'm gonna spend the rest of the day with my legs up in the air.  Hehehe.

My fingers, toes and anything else that can be crossed, are crossed!!!

Monday, 9 June 2014

An Update (Original, eh?)

So it's been a little while since my last update.  I started taking the nasty nasal spray on May 22nd.  I hated it!!!  I'd actually rather have been giving myself injections than having to take that hideous spray!  It would send me into sneezing, sniffling fits about 20 minutes after taking it, then I'd be able to taste it down my throat and it would taste like ear wax (don't even ask!  Lol).  I had to use the spray twice a day, then on May 31st, I added Estrace pills to the mix.  They weren't bad at all.  I didn't feel any different taking these medications than I did not taking them, so I was a little worried that they weren't working.

We've been stressing out about the potential transfer date as they had given us a tentative date of May 14th and Lance has his best friends stag party that day.  He's the best man, so he's planned it all and he can't be in two places at once.  Unselfish Marie wants him to go to the stag and have a good time, but selfish Marie kind of wants her fiancĂ©e in the same room as her when she gets pregnant.  I don't think that's too unreasonable!

I had my first ultrasound this morning and didn't quite know how to feel while I was driving out there.  Were they going to tell me that the lining wasn't good again and that they'd have to cancel the cycle?  Would they have to bump up the medications that I'm taking?  Of course, traffic sucked so the drive felt like it took twice as long.

Dr Kashyap did the ultrasound and good news... My lining is 10.5mm thick and my ovaries are quiet. They're going to go ahead and do a double embryo transfer on Friday.  This means that I can stop taking that horrific nasal spray, and I can stay at the same dose of Estrace rather than increasing it to 3 times daily... The only poopy thing is that I have to start taking the Endometrin three times a day now.  Yuck!  Oh well... Hopefully it'll all be worth it in the end!!!