My Family And Friends Are Sadistic!

The human race is a curious one.  Whenever I pull out my little "injection kit", I round up a bit of an audience.  Everyone wants to take a turn stabbing at me.  I'm not really sure how I should take that.

Are they genuinely wanting to help me with my injections as it is a bit nerve wracking the first few times you have to do it, or do they actually want to cause me pain for all the times I've pissed them off?

The first injection I had to do was around my rather curious 14 year old.  She is not afraid of needles.  When she was 12 years old I came home to her having three new ear piercings that she did herself. (Weirdo).  She wanted to watch, which was fine.  What wasn't fine was the sadistic grin she had on her face at the expense of my nerves!  She offered to do the shot for me and when I said no, she laughed, maniacally!

That evening I had to do the Gonal F pen.  I've never used a pen-style syringe before so I carefully read the instructions, unaware that Lance and Bailey were enjoying every moment of my pain!  Lance had even secretly recorded a video of me trying to prepare myself.  I suggested that I go remove myself to another room where I could have a little privacy, but they wanted to watch.  Lance offered to give me the injection.  I declined.  

What is with people wanting to stab me???

The next morning I have to go to work.  I have to be there for 7am, and my shot is due at 8am.  My Team Leader is quite interested in watching me reconstitute the vials of Menopur and offers to do the shot for me.  I ran off to the bathroom and locked myself in there to do it myself.  It's really hard to give yourself an injection in the belly when you're standing!  

That evening I have to do the pen-style injection again and I had stayed at my parents (which I normally do inbetween shifts), and my Mum... Same thing "Oh, I'll do that injection for you" and then she followed me around the house calling me a pansy until I finally drove that needle into my gut!  

The next day, Gillian (one of my favorite RNs to work with, and one that I have actually let stab me with a needle before ... In the ear of all places!  Haha) offered about a dozen times to poke me, but again... I kind of have to do it myself.  I think it's a control thing.  Also, I'm a little scared and overwhelmed at the amount of people that want to hurt me!  

I'm now on day 4 of the injections and while I don't think I'll ever like needles, I'm getting better at giving them to myself.  It is a bit of an eye-opener for me to eat and drink a bit healthier though.  I'd make a horrible diabetic!!!

The Beginning!!!

I'm nervous and excited, all at once.  Why?  Because this morning was the 1st day of my cycle.

Let me explain a little bit of the history here... My Name is Marie.  I'm 36 (for at least another week), and my wonderful Fiance is 29 (yeah,I know.  Roar!)  I have two fantastic children from a previous relationship.  Aidan is 16 and Bailey is 14.  Lance has never had children. Lance wants children of his own, even though he has fully accepted my children as his own into his life.  I had my tubes tied in 2000/2001 due to medical complications after birth.

So there you have it.  Mostly.

We looked into having my tubal ligation reversed in 2009/2010, but didn't receive the greatest of news.  My insides are junk, that sums it up nicely.  We were referred to a fertility clinic in Vancouver called Genesis.  I kicked my heels a bit on getting us an appointment.  It's a bit of a scary process, and we were in the process of buying a house, so funds were a little tight.  Lance proposed to me on Christmas Eve of 2013 and we decided that maybe this baby thing should happen sooner rather than later, especially seeing that he was going to be stuck with me and my crappy insides for the rest of his life.  I made the appointment.

After a disappointing and discouraging start (The fertility Dr found a large prolapsed fibroid in my already crap uterus), I had surgery and we got back on track.  We told the Dr in our orientation that we would like to try to have a baby soon... And they didn't mess around.  The orientation was on January 31st, 2014, and they got me on the medications that freaking day.

So now we're up to date!

Today is the 1st day of my cycle.  I had to give myself an injection of Menopur.  In my normal every day life, I give injections all the time.  I'm an ER nurse.  I am terrified of needles.  Thus posed a problem.  How the flipping hell am I supposed to stab myself in the gut with a needle when I  can't even check my own blood sugars without fainting???  Well... I guess if you really want something badly, then you figure it out.  I have a teeny tiny pokehole in my belly... With many more to come.

So stay tuned, and I will update this frequently with our hopeful, yet scary journey into pregnancy.

Oh, and I almost forgot... Here's our first big expense.  *drum roll*

That is one weeks worth of meds.  Total cost... $3356.00  Yikes, hey?  

And I thought having a baby the normal way was expensive enough.